Nothing feels anything anymore

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This post may contain harder or tougher stuff, so if you feel you are sensitive or something, don’t read.

Anna mä meen – Cheek ft. Jonne Aaron (Negative)
Lyrics + translation to English
>nothing feels good/anything anymore

I found a song… If I have heard it earlier, I don’t remember. But right now it sums up my feelings quite well. And… and even though I don’t tend to speak about too personal things (or things that include sex) I somehow yeah. Feel like so… ;-; <3 I've had good sex, but somehow it still feels empty inside in some point. It wasn't so earlier, it is kinda new feeling. Mixing also very feeling hmm, too many feelings and all making lots of contradictions when put together. So feeling empty is not the only feeling, there is lots of "good" feelings too. Somehow like feeling the need to have someone, but still don't have energy or time for it right now. Or at least time to search. I know I like... don't push or press myself about it, but I think being without is hard. Well, last time I was single this long, was before I had any relationships at all, so I have never been "alone/single" for over year. --- And I don't feel depression coming or so, kinda just embrace this feeling as long as I have it. I got past my last bottom I hit couple weeks ago, I didn't know I would react such a way... But my sis, and especially one good friend was there for me, spend time with me, played and talked and... simply just had fun time with me. :3 And the sadness slowly faded away. Even though he is in the other side of the world. Luv ya~ <3 ^w^ Missing my old friends and time spend with them, but I also have couple of new friends, and I even made some that live in here! :D So I can actually see them live. Even though last months have really teached me that distance really isn't obstacle in friendship. Internet is amazing. I am also a little bit sad for one new friend moving off -deja vu from last year/summer... :D- soon, but I am happy for her + she gets to live with her boyfriend. :) PS. Weight is now -17 kg (-37 lbs). I feel amazing, even though my skin and all is sagging. :| After starting my meds, I never really got any weight loss, so it is even better. I hope it continues. I haven't weighed this "little" in over 2 years. \^_^/ PSS. Ordered new computer/laptop in layaway. FINALLY! \^w^/


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